My Wish
by Miss Treble
Summary: Songfic based off of My Wish by Rascal Flatts; the scene from New Moon where Edward leaves Bella. EPOV


Edward POV :

I knew I was breaking my love's heart. But I had to. It was for her benefit; if I stayed longer, her world would end up broken, dangerous, and she would inevitably be injured. I had to do this. It was the right thing. I needed her to have the world at her fingertips. I was holding her down.

_I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,  
And each road leads you where you want to go,  
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,  
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.  
And if one door opens to another door closed,  
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,  
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile_,

"Bella, please. I have to go. I'm leaving." I stared at her impassively, watching the glow of her brown eyes dissapitate into lifelessness. They watered."

"No, Edward. You can't!" Bella's voice shook as she begged, tugging at my heart. It's the right thing to do, I reminded myself; a mantra. Without me here, Bella could live. She could _really _live. And that's what I wanted from her; needed from her. I needed Bella to find a husband, have children, grow old, and die. She could not be condemned to Hell like I was. She was too good. She deserved more than this. She deserved happiness.

_But more than anything, more than anything,  
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,  
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,  
You never need to carry more than you can hold,  
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,  
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,  
Yeah, this, is my wish._

"I'll go with you!" Bella said quickly, my resolve weakening. It hurt so much to do this; to watch the love in her fuel her hope. I was hurting her. I was wrong to have let her fall in love with me. She was selfless, beautiful, _good. _And I was a monster. I should never have come back from Alaska after I left the first time. I should have left her in the beginning, instead of now, dragging on this heartache. I hoped she didn't hurt for long.

_I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,  
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,  
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,  
And you help somebody every chance you get,  
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,  
And you always give more than you take._

"Bella, you can't. I don't want you to." I wanted her to. More than anything. Well, almost more than anything. I wanted her to live a full, long life most of all. I wanted every last dream of hers-human dreams- to come true. I wanted the world to be at her feet. She deserved it. I deserved nothing. Well, I deserved to be condemned to death, agonizing pain, this loss of my love...but not Bella. Anyone but Bella deserved that._  
_  
_But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,  
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,  
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,  
You never need to carry more than you can hold,  
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,  
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,  
Yeah, this, is my wish.  
_

"Edward..." she gasped, tears pouring down her cheeks. I kept my head high, straining to keep emotion from my face. I could do this, if it meant she would end up happy, and with someone who could give her things I couldn't. "Don't leave," she whispered.

I thanked God I could lie, because I needed it now. "I'm sorry," I whispered, too quietly for her to hear. "Bella, please. You're no good for me." No act of blasphemy, no bigger lie, had ever been told. Bella was everything to me-the breath I took, the blood in my veins, the music in the air. She was my everything. Without her, I was nothing.

"You...don't...want....me?" Bella looked at me, the deepest sorrow set in her eyes.

The bottom of my world fell out beneath me. _I want you, Bella, _I wanted to say. _I want you to be happy, to be filled with laughter and joy and warmth and sunlight. I want you to want to be happy without me._

"No, Bella, I don't." I told her instead. Even to my own ears my voice was cold, lifeless, distant. "But promise me one thing, Bella." I said moving forward, closing the three foot space between us. "Be safe," I whispered, letting my lips linger on her forehead. Her blood set my throat on fire, but the feeling of her warm skin against my lips almost broke my resolve completely. But I had to go. I had to go. I had to go, I repeated in my head, my mantra. Bella needs to be happy.

_My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,  
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,  
You never need to carry more than you can hold,  
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,  
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,  
Yeah, this, is my wish.  
_

` And with that I left, hearing her cries fade behind me as I ran. I ran and I ran until I was far enough away that Bella couldn't be heard anymore. I fell to the ground and sobbed, tearless, heartwrenching, powerful sobs. It hurt to leave a heart behind with someone.__

This is my wish  
I hope you know somebody loves you  
May all your dreams stay big  



End file.
